ASSAULT WITH PORK FRIED RICE

A Florida woman was arrested for assaulting her ex-boyfriend with pork fried rice. Responding to a disturbance at the China No. 1 restaurant in Vero Beach, a sheriff’s deputy discovered Brian Kusmer, 31, “covered from head to toe in pork fried rice and a red sauce.” Kusmer said that he was waiting for his former girlfriend, Samantha Wilson, to drop off the couple’s eight-year-old son (whose custody they share). When Wilson, 30, arrived at the restaurant, the duo argued about Wilson repeatedly keeping the child out of school. Kusmer asked Wilson to leave the restaurant after she got mad and began screaming at him. Before departing, however, Wilson allegedly threw a plate of food on Kusmer, who later declined medical attention, but said “the sauce burned a little.”
* He should have read the fortune cookie first.
* Their relationship was hot, and then sour.
* If only he had ordered Happy Family.
* Friends describe Brian Kusmer as a “Moo Goo kind of Gai.”
* An hour later, they were arguing again.