AMERICANS CHOKING ON CHEESE

The Kraft Heinz Company is voluntarily recalling 36,000 cases of Kraft Singles individually-wrapped cheese slices after customers reported choking on the plastic wrapping. The plastic is apparently not coming off the cheese all the way, and people are then eating pieces of the plastic which, of course, is hardly distinguishable from the cheese. Three consumers choked and ten complaints were filed over the problem. The recall applies to 3-and 4-pound sizes of Kraft Singles American and White American pasteurized prepared cheese with a use-by-date of December 29, 2015 to January 4, 2016.
* What Americans need is a way to get to the cheese faster than having to wait all that time to unwrap it.
* My God, we can’t even slow down enough so we don’t accidentally eat the wrapper?
* We need a cheese power sprayer.
* Next: Kraft makes cheese squeeze cartridges for caulking guns.
* Explain the individually wrapped idea. Does anybody in this country actually eat only ONE piece of cheese?
* That’s like individually wrapping the cookies in a package of Oreos.
* This is why we now inject cheese directly into pizza crust: to avoid this kind of accident.
* This has not been a glorious day in the War on Obesity.
* Usually the food has the expiration date – not the person eating it.