AIRPORT HIRES THERAPY PIG

San Francisco International has joined the growing list of airports where handlers walk trained therapy dogs through the terminals to greet passengers and reduce the stress of travel. Now, in addition to therapy dogs, the San Francisco airport has a therapy pig, named LiLou. LiLou has a variety of costumes, and she also performs a variety of tricks, including greeting people with her snout or a wave, twirling and standing up on her back hooves, and playing a toy piano.
* None of which gets old quickly.
* Sounds like the therapy pig is a ham.
* Great, something else to make people gather around and get in the way when I’m TRYING TO GET TO MY GATE!
* Therapy pigs, because being the janitor at an airport doesn’t suck enough already.
* You know where this is heading, right? Full airport petting zoos with candlelight and aromatherapy.
* If they want to reduce stress, how about therapy hookers?
* Why can’t they teach the pig something useful, like rebooking a missed flight, or picking up your rental car for you?
* So your plane is plummeting to earth at 700 miles an hour. Are you stressed? Hell no because, back at the airport, you heard a pig play the piano.
* Another trick the pig does is spreading swine flu.
* Look, the Muslim terrorists are mad enough at us without introducing pork into the equation.
* Wait, is that it? A terrorist wouldn’t want to detonate a bomb if the blood of a pig could hit him.
* I stand corrected. This pig is a brilliant idea.