Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
SPOTIFY REMOVES 50 MILLION A.I. TRACKS (FROM RECOMMENDATIONS)
They removed NBA legend Allen Iverson?
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
MIKE TYSON SUED FOR WALKING OUT OF CONTRACT
Giant talking pigeons.
AI ERASES ENTIRE SEASON OF SWEDISH TV SHOW
Entire season borked.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
BANANA REPUBLIC LAUNCHES TV SERIES
Fashiontainment.
HALLMARK CHANNEL’S 36 XMAS MOVIES FOR 2026
Warning: sappy
FOUR BEATLES MOVIES, ALL IN ONE MONTH
Grab some friends, come together.
KELLY CLARKSON IN FEUD WITH TOY STORE
The customer is always 𝗋̶𝗂̶𝗀̶𝗁̶𝗍̶ rich.
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
What happened to the man who was hit in the head with a can of Coke?
Nothing, because it was a soft drink.
Doorbell rings at 3am.
Husband, irritated gets up and opens the door to an obviously drunk man. The drunk says, “Could you give me a push?” Husband says, “Hello no,” slams the door. His wife says, “Don’t you remember when we were stranded on the side of the road and people stopped to help us? Go help the poor man.” The husband goes back to the door, doesn’t see the man. He yells, “Do you still need a push?” He hears the drunk say, “Yes please.” Husband says, “Where are you?” Drunk says, “Over here on the swings.”
A man looks over his fence, sees his neighbor digging a hole in the back garden.
Says, “What are you up to?” Neighbor says, “Oh, I’m digging a hole for my dead hamster.” Guy says,. “Sorry to hear that, but why make the hole so big?” Neighbor says, “Because it’s inside your cat.”
Did you see the old man collecting shopping carts at the supermarket parking lot?
He must have been pushing 70.
What did the mom say a week after dropping a tub of margarine on her toe?
I can’t believe it’s not better.
U.S. NEWS
RUBBER MASK BANK ROBBER STRIKES AGAIN
Master of disguise!
THE GREAT FLORIDA LIONFISH ROUNDUP
Different than the snake cull.
WOMAN HIT BY FALLING CACTUS
Stuck on you.
WOMAN STUCK IN AIRPLANE LAVATORY
Yes, it was a Boeing. Next question?
ELECTION FRAUD! SCHOOL PRINCIPAL RIGS CLASS PRESIDENT VOTE
Who rigs a 6th grade election?
ELON MUSK SHOWS OFF FLYING, SPINNING CAR
It’s the newest way to die!
HOT AIR BALLOONIST STEALS APPLE FROM ORCHARD, FARMER ANGRY
Someone’s full of hot air.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
JAPANESE SHOE INSOLE THIEF CAUGHT
♫♪ He’s a sole man… ♪♪
CANDIDATE WINS DESPITE GAG CAMPAIGN SIGNS
“I barely want to do this.”
FIRST DRONE EVACUATION OF A SOLDIER EVER
Ukraine does it again.
THE GREAT DUTCH BARBERSHOP WAR
♪♫ Shave and a haircut, BAM BOOM!! ♪♪
BRITISH MAN’S DYING WISH: KISS A COW
Before he buys the farm, he wanted to visit it.
LOST FLUTE RECOVERED AFTER 5 YEARS IN A RIVER
You’re darn tootin’.
TEEN WAKES UP IN COFFIN AT HER OWN FUNERAL
You only live twice.
NEPAL BESET BY MONKEY GANGS
They are NOT too busy singing to put anybody down.
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Deer Snails
Comfortable Seats
Breakfast Of Champions
The One That Got Away
Ma, Grandma’s Been Knitting On LSD Again
Bad Dog!
THE BUZZ
THE WORST THING SOMEONE HAS DONE IN YOUR HOUSE
And you wonder why we never have people over.
WALKERS LIVE 16 YEARS LONGER
So take the stairs.
21% HAVE BAILED ON AN ANNOYING TRAVEL COMPANION
And not just on the honeymoon.
GOOGLE’S TOP-SEARCHED HALLOWEEN COSTUMES FOR 2026
Yeah, we had to look up who they were, too.
HALLOWEEN CANDY IS GETTING SMALLER
And Leo is getting laaaaarrrrger.
ADULTS EAT MORE CANDY THAN WHEN THEY WERE KIDS
One of the perks of adulthood.
JOBS: FAKING IT
We all do.
DUMB HEADLINES
Have listeners vote for the dumbest one.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
CLAYFACE
Starts Friday, October 23 in theaters.
WILDWOOD
Starts Friday, October 23 in theaters.
WICKER
Starts Friday, October 23 in theaters.
A TALENT FOR MURDER
Starts Friday, October 23 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
FIVE CHAMBERS OF HORROR 2026
Will you survive the horror? Oh, wait – you already have.
A & M AUTOLAND – Stilts
This might be the only time Big Mike actually looked up to Big Al.
SLASHER TELEPORTER
So THAT’S how they do it.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 16.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 9.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
A & M AUTOLAND – Free Inspection
Al and Mike try to hook you with their new offer.
PROPOSITION 81
Political ad gone wrong.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 2.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Two Percent Sale
Big Al never quite got the hang of fractions and decimals.
TRIACLINIC COLD MEDICINE
There’s one for your cold, probably.
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