MAN HAD $1,090 IN HIS BUTT

Florida police arrested a man following a traffic stop when they found he was carrying an assortment of drugs and a large amount of money. But the biggest surprise came when they got back to the station and found the cash had disappeared but $20 bills were falling from his rectum. Pattreon Stokes, 26, was pulled over for speeding in the early hours of the morning Saturday. Police said he was carrying a “small amount of marijuana and a large amount of currency on his person.” They arrested Stokes and brought him to Marion County Jail. But when they got there, cops said the money they found earlier was gone. Deputies then noticed $20 bills falling from Stokes’ buttocks area. After a, quote, “necessary but undesirable for everyone involved” search, they found $1,090 in currency hidden in Stokes’ rectum.
* Bummer. Bummmm … er. That’s for our British listeners.
* Guy was stinkin’ rich!
* Worst. Man Purse. Ever.
* Nice job by Marion Country’s crack investigative team.
* On the $20 bills, Andrew Jackson was crying.
* Do you know where one can find a good money launderer?