LIBRARIES TO GIVE OUT ECLIPSE GLASSES

More than 2 million pairs of eclipse glasses, which allow you to watch the solar eclipse without damaging your eyes, are being distributed free at public libraries across the country. About 4,800 libraries will participate in giving out free glasses; ask if the library near you is participating in the eclipse glass giveaway.
* Don’t be fooled, kids! The libraries are just trying to sucker you in to try and make you check out a book.
* Eclipse glasses? Meh. Have they got any X-Ray Specs?
* I want a pair of eclipse glasses to protect my eyes, and a pair of eclipse earplugs so I don’t have to listen to any more of this ridiculous hype.
* The only eclipse glasses I want are a couple of glasses of scotch.
* I’ve been getting my eyes prepared each night by staring up at streetlights.