SHOPPING MALL PLANNING FIREWORKS SHOW DURING ECLIPSE

Traders Mall in Paducah, Kentucky is planning a fireworks show for the total solar eclipse on August 21. Some local residents aren’t happy about it because, as one woman said, with really bad sentence structure: “If they are shooting off fireworks, people will not be able to see the total eclipse because they are going to be doing fireworks.” Richard Gray, co-owner of Traders Mall, said the fireworks are meant to be a small part of the eclipse and not take over the whole event. The total eclipse over the area is supposed to last 2 minutes and 21 seconds, during which only one minute would have fireworks, he said.
* What? No parade?
* “Look at the fireworks, kids, don’t look at the eclipse, you’ll go blind!”
* Isn’t it great that a shopping mall thinks a once-in-a-millennia event could use a little jazzing up with fireworks? I love America.
* God just tweeted that if Paducah can’t enjoy the eclipse the way it is, He’s calling it off.