THIS YEAR'S TEXAS STATE FAIR FOOD

The State Fair of Texas has released the semi-finalists for its 13th annual Big Tex Choice Awards. These are the awards for the most creative food to be served at this year’s fair, which starts at the end of September. Three winners will receive Big Tex Choice Awards for Best Taste: Sweet, Best Taste: Savory, and Most Creative. These are the foods in contention:
– Beer Battered Beef Jerky
– Fried Redneck Wedding Cake Balls
– Cajun Fried Deviled Eggs
– Fried Sloppy Joe Flautas with ‘Not Cho’ Fries
– Crawfish Lollipop
– Fried Texas Dirt
– Deep Fried Bacon Wrapped Mozzarella with Jalapeno
– Ranch Fried Texas Sheet Cake
– Deep Fried Breakfast Cupcake
– Funnel Cake Bacon Queso Burger
– Deep Fried Chicken Noodle Soup on a Stick
– Gulf Coast Fish Bowl
– Deep Fried Fruit Loops
– Oreo Beer
– Deep Fried Reuben
– Pinot Noir Popcorn
– Deep Fried Root Beer Float with Dragon’s Breath
– Ramen Grasshopper Cookie
– Dreamy Drunken Sopapilla Cheesecake Bar
– Southern Fried Chicken Monte Cristo
– Fat Smooth
– Surfin-Turfin-Tator Boat
– Fried Arroz Con Pollo
– Texas Fajita Fries
– Fried Cheesecake Stuffed Apple Sundae
– Texas Fried Cowboy Fritters
– Fried El Paso
– The Tamale Donut
– Fried Mango Loco
– Tipsy Topsy Catfish on a Stick
* There are no losers here.
* Now, put the word “pie” at the end of every one of those.
* Fried Texas Dirt? If you’ve eaten at the state fair, you’ve already had that, whether you know it or not.
* I’m surprised no one’s come up with Deep Fried Lipitor yet. It’s the cause of, and solution to, all your fair food problems.