TRUCK FULL OF EELS OVERTURNS

A truck full of eels overturned Thursday on U.S. 101 in Oregon, dousing a sedan with slithering sea creatures, not to mention a ton of eel slime. The eels – hundreds, if not thousands of them – were wriggling all over the road like giant, slime-covered worms. The Oregon State Police said the eels were being sent to Korea “for consumption.” There were no human injuries in the accident.
* Not counting the future nightmares of every single person who witnessed it.
* Now the truck driver’s trying to squirm out of it.
* At least the other car wasn’t a convertible.
* What morons! You can’t get to Korea by truck!
* There goes this weekend’s main course at Korean Country Buffet.
* Then the giant pelicans attacked.

Today Is…

WEDNESDAY – Mar 18

TUESDAY – Mar 17

MONDAY – Mar 16

Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!

TODAY’S ALMANAC

WEDNESDAY ALMANAC – Mar 18

TUESDAY ALMANAC – Mar 17

MONDAY ALMANAC – Mar 16

Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music

TODAY’S TRIVIA

WEDNESDAY TRIVIA – Mar 18

TUESDAY TRIVIA – Mar 17

MONDAY TRIVIA – Mar 16

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

ACADEMY AWARD WINNERS LIST

WInner winner, not for Sinners.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

THE RAZZIE AWARDS: WINNERS LIST

Ptthhhhhht!

SESAME STREET SUES SEA WORLD

Big Bird, big lawsuit.

HALF OF AMERICA DOESN’T GO TO THE MOVIES ANYMORE

How did “Five Nights at Freddy’s 2” not pull them in?

OSCAR NOMINEE GIFT BAGS

In which luxury companies get their names mentioned on the radio.

QUENTIN TARENTINO TO DIRECT LONDON PLAY

A “swashbuckling” comedy!

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

JOKE OF THE DAY

Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.

A woman lived with her daughter and son-in-law.

posted March 18

One day she came home to find her son-in-law packing a suitcase. He says, “I’m leaving, it’s the end of our marriage. I texted my wife to say I’d be home early, and when I got here I found her in bed with another man.” The mother-in-law said, “No, my daughter would never do that, there must be a simple explanation, I’ll go and talk to her.” After a while, the mother-in-law comes back and says, “There, I told you there was a simple explanation. She never got your text.”

Why wouldn’t the nearsighted vampire buy glasses?

posted March 17

He just couldn’t see himself wearing them.

Guy staggers into a bar.

posted March 16

Bartender says, “You look beat.” Guy says, “I just walked five mile, climbed two trees, waded across a creek, almost stepped on a rattlesnake and outran a bear.” Bartender says, “You must be quite the outdoorsman.” Guy says, “No, I’m just a lousy golfer.”

A guy goes up to his boss after an ethics training seminar.

posted March 13

He says, “Boss, that ethics training has me feeling bad about us doing product testing on animals. His boss says, “Look, animal testing is an accepted practice, many shampoo and cosmetics manufacturers test their products on animals.” Guy says, “Yeah, but we make hammers.”