GUY TRIES THE OLD "BUY ALL THE NEWSPAPERS" TRICK

A Palmyra, New York, man bought hundreds of copies of the local paper from various locations around town in an unsuccessful effort to keep others from reading about his drunk driving arrest. 43-year-old Joseph Talbot was arrested last Thursday for driving while intoxicated. Police also charged him with refusing to be fingerprinted or photographed after he told troopers he didn’t want his mugshot in the paper. The local paper, the Times of Wayne County, printed the mugshot along with a story on Saturday. The paper has a circulation of 12,000. Ron Holdraker, editor and owner of the paper, says Talbot bought nearly 1,000 copies at $1.25 each to keep people from seeing his mugshot. He may not have been aware that the mugshots are also posted on the paper’s website.
* It didn’t work on “I Love Lucy”, and it won’t work today.
* To be fair, maybe it was just a really unflattering picture.
* On the bright side, he has nearly 1,000 coupons for 20 cents off Oreida French Fries at the Palmyra Shop ‘n Save.
* He has enough newspapers for everyone in town to line their birdcages until the year 2200.
* He didn’t want his mugshot in the papers? Sorry, but it doesn’t work like that.
* These are things you should have thought about before you drove drunk.
* Now, thanks to this move, the whole world gets to hear about it.
* Now he’s buying everyone’s computer so they can’t look at the website.
* Joseph Talbot? Any relation to the werewolf Talbots?
* What is this unfamiliar quality this man is showing? Could it be actual shame … in 2017?