EMPLOYEE STEALS COMPANY'S DEPOSITS, EMAILS HIS RESIGNATION NEXT MORNING

Police in Bensalem (pronounced ben-SALE-um), Pennsylvania, say that on Wednesday, Kevin Van Allen, 30, was given a bank deposit bag from his place of work, to be deposited in the bank. But Van Allen never made the large deposit. Nor did he show up for work the next day. But here’s what he did do: he emailed his boss on Thursday morning, notifying him that he’d quit. An arrest warrant for Van Allen has been issued, and police are asking for the public’s help.
* The boss is going, “Say – you don’t think …”
* To cheap to hire a bonded courier service, huh?
* At least his excellent business manners will look good on his resume.
* They don’t tell us how much he got away with, ’cause then everybody would try it.
* Look, if you’re still dealing with 20th Century actual paper money, you deserve what happens.
* You can guess that he took off for another state, or for Mexico, but dollars-to-donuts they catch him down at a Jersey Shore casino. Broke.
* Imagine the grin he had on his face when he sent that email.
* “This is my two week notice effective two weeks ago. See ya.”
* I wonder how many Americans out there are so pissed off they hope he gets away?
* I mean besides me…