BURGLAR STOLE TWO BEERS

Authorities in Montana nabbed a man for allegedly breaking in and stealing two beers from a homeowner’s refrigerator. The homeowner went out into the kitchen and observed an older male going through the refrigerator and then leaving out the back door. The homeowner grabbed his shotgun when he noticed two beers – Obsidian Stouts – missing. Police said they found William Kirby, 60, a block away from the home with two bottles of the same brand in his backpack. Kirby is facing burglary chargers.
* The homeowner, meanwhile, is facing a charge of misdemeanor hipster.
* I guess it’s hard to be generous and neighborly when you catch a guy actually rummaging through your fridge.
* If only he had just rung the front doorbell and asked nicely.
* Obsidian Stouts? I thought obsidian was a rock.
* Sounds like a heavy brew to me.
* Wow, he didn’t open fire? Montana is really mellowing out these days.
* In fact, Montana might be getting soft.
* He took two beers? This maniac must be stopped!