ROBBER SETS SELF ON FIRE

Police in Bedford, Texas, are looking for a man who lit himself on fire while trying to rob a convenience store last month. The robber walked into the Quick Track store on Oct. 13 with a container of flammable liquid. He demanded money and then sprayed flammable liquid on the clerk. The clerk handed over a small amount of money, but then the robber lit something on fire, which ignited liquid on his hands. The robber extinguished the flames on his hands and ran out of the store. The clerk was not injured and the store had some minor damage.
* What a flaming idiot.
* He’ll be caught red-handed. Red with blisters.
* He got out of there like a house on fire.
* I bet he was lit before he was lit if you know what I mean.
* As robbers go, he was not too hot, but he also was.
* Of course you know what he studied in college, right? He was a lit major.
* “While trying to rob …” Now there’s a phrase that always spells trouble.
* Let’s be fair here: Other than lighting himself on fire, the robbery was a big success.
* I mean he got money and he got away – two very important components of the robbery experience.