TARGET PULLS CLOWN MASKS

Target is pulling some clown masks from store shelves and online due to the recent rise of “crazy clown” scares. Target officials said not all clown costumes have been pulled and that kids looking to be a happier form of a clown can still find those in stores and online. “Given the current environment, we have made the decision to remove a variety of clown masks from our assortment, both in stores and online,” Target spokesperson Joshua Thomas said.
* … with an evil laugh.
* If we make clown costumes criminal, only criminals will have clown costumes.
* Translation: “We don’t want to be sued if someone wearing one of our clown costumes commits a crime.”
* Well, there goes $20 million in Halloween revenue.
* Yet they continue to sell Ken Bone red sweaters.
* Thank goodness it’s almost impossible to make your own clown costume with thrift-store clothes and makeup.
* “Kids looking to be a happier form of a clown can still find those in stores and online.” Then you take it out of the package and paint blood all over it.
* Add a giant knife, and you’re all set!
* So you’ll still be threatened by a psycho clown but it’ll be a happy psycho.
* And why wouldn’t it be happy? Hunting people down makes it happy.
* This clown thing is getting to be just about as annoying as the Pokemon craze.
* If only it would end as quick.
* All I know is that if a clown comes to my door on Halloween, I’m going to call Homeland Security.
* Hey, if I want to be freaked out and anxious I just think about the elections.
* CLIP: I hope Target is still selling these. Our “Big Top Sneakers” parody spot.
http://morningsidekick.com/prep/wp-content/uploads/BigTopSneakers-Shoes.mp3