MAN KNOCKS DOWN WIFE FOR HIDING TV REMOTE

A 69-year-old resident of Spruce Creek retirement community in Summerfield, Florida, was arrested Wednesday after a physical altercation with his wife over the television remote control. Matthew Stanzione’s 71-year-old wife had come home from the gym and Stanzione allegedly began calling her names, according to the arrest report. She took the television remote and hid it in the laundry room. He became upset and charged at her, knocking her to the floor.
* You can bet the guy has never seen the inside of the laundry room.
* She needs to do more strength training at the gym.
* Maybe throw in a little karate or judo.
* It was a knock-down, drag-out fight. He knocked her down, and the cops dragged him out.
* Ahh, the calm serenity of retirement.
* What a joyous time: Looking back at a life well-lived and savoring every moment you still have together.
* Young people today can get a better sense of this if they imagined someone hiding their phones.
* Maybe he’ll like the TV set in the prison rec room better.
* Wait – people probably fight over the TV remote even more in prison.
* I say if he likes TV so much let Judge Judy try his sorry ass.