MAN NAMED MALICE SETS CARS ON FIRE

A 22-year-old man is facing multiple charges after allegedly setting more than a dozen cars on fire on a busy street in Edmonton, Alberta. Police were called to a popular bar and restaurant district around 8:40 p.m. on Friday after receiving reports that a man was pouring gasoline on vehicles and setting them on fire. He lit four cars on the east side of the street, then hit six on the other side. He then drew a line in gasoline on the sidewalk and lit it to stop everyone that was chasing him. That didn’t work. The suspect, identified by police as 22-year-old – actual name – Malice Sutton, was taken down by two bystanders before being taken into custody by police. Police say no injuries were reported during the incident, but 13 vehicles were damaged.
* Malice. Callous Malice.
* Malice, definition: “The intention or desire to do evil.”
* Who’s his dad? Dr. Evil?
* Does he have a sister named Animus?
* His parents would always say, “Meet our boy, Malice. We love our son!” and he thought they were saying “We love arson!”
* What’s he so fired up about?
* Was this kid anywhere near Notre Dame in Paris yesterday?
* Isn’t Malice the name of that guy in the Allstate insurance commercials who causes all the damage? (No, that’s Mayhem.)