HEADLESS 400-POUND TUNA FOUND IN WOODS

State Environmental Police in Gloucester, Massachusetts, are trying to figure out who dumped a headless 440-pound tuna fish in the woods. Officials say the fish was illegally harvested out of season. What it was doing in the woods is anybody’s guess (* Looking for its head?). A spokesman for the Environmental Police said they couldn’t discuss any details of the case because it was an ongoing investigation. The fish had to be hauled out of the trees by a tow truck.
* It was actually a 40-pound tuna fish, but you know how fishermen like to exaggerate.
* Does the Gorton’s fisherman have an alibi?
* How about Mrs. Paul?
* Was it a warning sign from a Mexican Fish Cartel?
* It could be the sign of a large-scale crime.
* This isn’t the weirdest crime that’s come down the pike.
* On the bright side, free tuna head stew for everybody!