MAN ASSAULTED WITH BACON

A Goldsboro, North Carolina man reported to police that he was slapped with a package of bacon Sunday. The man said he was arguing with his girlfriend at their apartment when she struck him in the face with an uncooked package of bacon. Police say charges have not yet been filed.
* They’re still chewing over the evidence.
* Police have put out an APB, and a BLT.
* The next step is to grill the suspect.
* See? Too much bacon is bad for you.
* The victim said his girlfriend’s actions were like a cold slab in the face.
* Why so ham-handed?
* She behaved rashly.
* Sounds like the sizzle has gone out of their relationship.