FLORIDA MAN TRIES CANAL JUMP IN CAR

A man attempted to jump a canal with his car in Lehigh Acres, Florida. Witnesses say they saw a man in a blue Toyota Corolla drive to the edge of the canal and stop. Then, he got out of the car to observe the distance, got back into the vehicle, backed up, and then tried to make the jump of about 20 feet. His vehicle had to be towed out of the canal. Deputies say the man was not injured, but the car was totaled. Police noted that he could have crossed the canal on a bridge two blocks over.
* But where’s the challenge in that?
* Was he sick the day they covered “gravity” in science class?
* “Hello, Nationwide Insurance? I need to talk to you about your Accident Forgiveness.”
* I blame those “Fast and Furious” movies.
* He didn’t go fast enough, and now he’s furious.
* Tune in tomorrow for another episode of The Dukes of Lehigh Acres.
* Remember “Smokey and the Bandit”? This is Smokey and the Dimwit.