OREGON TOWN BESIEGED BY TURKEY GANGS

The small city of Pilot Rock, Oregon (1,500 residents), has a wild turkey problem. A flock of 50 to 70 turkeys at a time rolls into town, separates into smaller groups, and causes turkey-related mayhem, like loitering in trees, digging up gardens and crapping on cars. One resident said he counted 68 birds in a yard at the same time. An official with Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife had several recommendations, ranging from leading the birds elsewhere with food to your more basic “kill the turkeys dead” plan. The Pilot Rock city council will now decide which option to pursue.
* A gang of turkeys. Hell’s Giblets?
* I vote for the “With God as my witness, I thought turkeys were delicious” plan.
* Hey, Pilot Rock – take your wild turkeys and stuff ’em. Literally!
* Baste the bastards!
* Yeah, just kill the turkeys. Unless you’re chicken.
* My Uncle Tony had a Wild Turkey problem, too. Then he got a liver transplant.