$20 MILLION CASH IN THE MATTRESS

Federal officials reported finding $20 million in cash during a money laundering bust. The feds were working on bringing down a massive pyramid scheme by the internet phone company TelexFree Inc. Officers were following a Brazilian man, Cleber Rene Rizerio Rocha, who was acting as a courier for the scheme. They followed him to an apartment in Westborough, Massachusetts. There they found twenty million dollars in cash hidden inside the box spring of a full-size bed, underneath the mattress. Officials say TelexFree ripped off about half of their participants, or roughly 1 million people across the world, for about $3 billion.
* And THAT is how you save for a rainy day.
* Full size? Always go for the king mattress.
* So they recovered six-tenths of one percent of the $3 billion? That deserves a cookie.
* Did they check under the couch?
* Money laundering – did they look in the washer and dryer?
* They ripped off 3 billion? That’s Bernie Madoff country.
* Usually you have to be a top Wall Street firm to steal that much.
* Okay, having 20 million in your box spring sounds okay, but good luck getting a decent night’s sleep.
* “What’s your ‘Sleep Number’?” “20 million. Dollars.”
* Uh oh. They also got the guy for removing the tag from his mattress and you know what a crime that is.
* That really is a crime by the way going back to the 20th Century to prevent mattress manufacturers from using stuffing with lice, etc. So this guy was just asking to be taken down.