WOMAN RESCUED FROM CHICKEN PROCESSING WASTE TANK

On Tuesday morning, firefighters in Petaluma, California rescued a female security guard who fell into an outdoor concrete tank containing the remnants of chicken at a poultry processing plant. The woman had tried to adjust a metal grate that was not properly covering the 6- to 8-foot-deep concrete tank when she fell into it around 7:15 a.m. She called 911 and held onto the top of the tank with her other arm. She was waist deep and sinking and didn’t know how deep the tank was. The Petaluma Fire Department responded within five minutes and pulled her out. The woman removed her wet clothes and was wrapped in a blanket.
* She was in chicken waste up to her dumplings.
* Her goose was almost cooked.
* She called 911 from the chicken waste tank? That’s using your noodle.
* In waist deep and sinking? Sounds like my whole life.
* I’d recommend a really long hot shower.
* Now a pack of coyotes won’t stop following her.
* She’ll be ready to eat chicken again by 2035 or so.
* How did a klutz like this ever land a prestigious job like security guard?
* It turned out the metal grate was knocked out of place by the stink.