WILD ANIMAL PARK OWNER TRAMPLED BY AN ANTELOPE

The 81-year-old owner of a western New York wild animal park has been fatally mauled by a vicious tiger. No, wait – make that an antelope. He was trampled by an antelope. Family members found Han Boxler Sr. dead early Monday morning at his Hidden Valley Animal Adventures, a safari park located 30 miles east of Buffalo. Officials say Boxler was feeding animals in a fenced laneway when a Nilgai antelope escaped its pen and trampled him. The animal is the largest Asian antelope and can weigh hundreds of pounds. Boxler opened the 60-acre wild animal attraction in 2010. Hidden Valley’s website says the park features more than 40 different species and 300 animals, including camels, zebras, wildebeest, llamas, bison and ostriches.
* But no more antelope, except at the park’s food court.
* “Hidden Valley Animal Adventures, Where Your Final Adventure is Death.”
* This was more of a MIS-adventure.
* This has nothing to do with the story, but can I be the first one to coin the word “Trumpled”?
* 81-years-old? Oh well, it was a good run and it sounds like the antelope had a good run too.
* It’s always admirable when an elderly person stays active and useful. And sometimes it’s stupid.
* “Pappy – it’s time for you to get your frail, bony self out and feed the animals, including the Nilgai antelope, the largest Asian antelope that can weigh hundreds of pounds.”
* Darn, what’s with these animals always trying to escape the pens we made them?
* “Look, you could be running from predators in Asia. We set you up with a lovely pen in western New York and this is how you act?”
* Meanwhile the antelope is thinking, “Great, I’ve been trying to get that old guy for years.”
* 300 animals from 40 different species? How would you like to live downwind from this place?