TV REPORTER TAKES DUMP IN SOMEONE'S YARD WHILE ON ASSIGNMENT

Goodyear, Arizona, police arrested TV reporter Jonathan Lowe Monday afternoon for defecating in someone’s yard. Lowe, who works for the Phoenix CBS affiliate, was reporting on a former Arizona State University football player who allegedly sacrificed the family dog by putting him in a smoker in order to appease an angry God. An onlooker from across the street spotted the reporter squatting and called it in to officers. Lowe told them he’d had to relieve himself, and they arrested him for “public urination or defecation,” a Class 1 misdemeanor punishable by a fine of up to $2,500 or six months in jail.
* Please, God, no film at 11.
* TV reporters are supposed to give you the poop – but not like this.
* Hearing about this is what killed Morley Safer.
* So a crappy news story gets even crappier.
* What’s interesting is, the weirdest thing in the story isn’t the guy who sacrificed his dog by cooking him in the smoker.
* Usually, the news dump happens on Friday afternoon.
* Lowe, who works for the CBS affiliate … wait, make that “who used to work for the CBS affiliate.”
* One thing is clear from the reaction to this story: the angry God still has not been appeased.
* I don’t know who’s prouder today: The 4th Estate or the ASU alumni association.
* “Goodyear, Arizona?” “No, it was the worst.”
* This reporter did get it part right. He did manage to flush his career.