PRISONER CAUGHT WITH 64 BEDSHEETS TIED TOGETHER

Investigators sweeping a jail after breaking up a drug smuggling ring uncovered an inmate’s apparent escape plot using 64 neatly tied together bedsheets, enough for him to shimmy down 11 stories from his cellblock to the street. Ernest Murphy, awaiting trial on an attempted murder charge, had the sheets stashed under a sink in his cell at the Manhattan Detention Center. The coil of sheets stretched the length of a gymnasium nearly four times.
* Wait – did they actually take the sheets to a gymnasium and stretch them out back and fourth on the floor?
* How long would the train of sheets be, say, if stretched out on the Cross-Bronx Expressway? Or wrapped around the head of the Statue of Liberty?
* And, no, New York has not just changed their state slogan to “Escape to New York”.
* Maybe he was a conceptual artist like Christo and he was going to wrap the sheets around something for an art project.
* So 64 inmates had to sleep on a bare mattress?
* What did he thing the guards would say? “There’s a huge pile of sheets. It must be his laundry.”
* I know how he came up with the idea. Every time he thought about being in prison, he just got all tied up in knots.