A man in northern Greece has received a suspended one-month prison sentence for repeatedly sneaking onto his neighbors’ properties to smell their shoes. The man was arrested before dawn on Oct. 8 in the small town of Sindos, after a neighbor found the defendant in his front yard sniffing his family’s shoes, which had been left outdoors to air. The 28-year-old Greek man told the court that he was unable to explain his behavior, which, he said, had caused him great embarrassment. There had been at least three similar incidents in the past six months, despite neighbors having asked the defendant’s family to get him to stop.
* He’s Greek, He’s attracted to Feeta cheese.
* Stinky shoes left outside overnight to air. Plus they keep the raccoons away.
* What an idiot. He could have a job for life working at a bowling alley at the shoe rental, and no one would be the wiser.
* I say, never judge a man until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes, and then sniffed them silly.

How do you trim your tree branches? With a chain saw? With a branch lopper? In Denmark, they use dynamite. To cut down tree branches that were at risk of falling and injuring park visitors, workers in Copenhagen, Denmark, use small charges of dynamite to blow the branches the hell off the tree. A biologist for the Danish Nature Agency said the breaks left by the controlled explosions result in a much more natural appearance, similar to lightning striking a tree, as opposed to leaving a scar from a chainsaw.
* And dynamite is so much more fun.
* So they have rednecks in Denmark, too.
* And I suppose the Danes will tell you there’s no beer involved.
* Sycamore? (BOOM!) Syca-less.
* It must also help reduce the squirrel population, you think?

A man is suing Atlanta’s Emory Hospital after they lost a piece of his skull during brain surgery. Back in September 2022, Fernando Cluster was operated on for a brain bleed. A portion of his skull about the size of a saucer was removed to relieve pressure. When the time came to replace the bone, the hospital couldn’t find it. On top of that, he was charged nearly $150,000 for medical expenses directly related to the hospital’s error – including $19,000 for the synthetic skull implant that was used when his own bone was lost. Cluster is now suing Emory over the extra medical expenses, in addition to the emotional pain and suffering caused by the incident.
* How much pain and suffering? He flipped his lid!
* Cluster insists that heads will roll.
* Did they check the cafeteria? If it looked like a saucer, maybe it got mixed in with the lunch tray during surgery.
* He must be out of his head with worry.

Two trucks collided on Interstate 84, east of Jerome, Idaho. One truck was hauling molasses and the other was hauling manure. The molasses truck plowed into the rear end of the manure truck, which came to rest in the center median and caught fire. About 1,000 pounds of molasses was spilled onto the highway. One passenger in the manure truck was hospitalizes with injuries.
* Ugh. Sweet ‘n’ sour.
* Collision of the year.
* When I first read this story, I thought it was a load of crap.
* An entire truckload of burning manure, and no marshmallows.

A New York mother was horrified to discover the Burger King kids’ meal she ordered for her daughter was splattered with blood. Tiffany Floyd took her 4-year-old to the fast food drive-through in Getzville, NY. After leaving as they were eating, her daughter said, “Mom, I don’t want ketchup.” Mrs. Floyd looked and saw blood all over her daughter’s hamburger, all over the wrapper, inside the bag, and blood on the toys. She instantly told her to spit out the food. She had eaten some fries and a bit of her hamburger. And then Mrs. Floyd looked and there was blood on her own meal, too. Floyd immediately called the Burger King where the manager, Dan, informed her that a cook had cut his hand and he was bleeding, and that he was so sorry, and if she came back, he would refund her. (* Which really sounds more than fair.) She also called her daughter’s pediatrician, who said she would have to wait 30 days to get her daughter’s blood tested to see if she contracted any disease. And then she should get her blood work done every so often for a year to see if something comes up. Mrs. Floyd said the manager wouldn’t tell her who the injured employee was. “If they just make him go and get tested, my daughter would not have to get pricked,” she said.
* Too bad the manager IS one.
* All part of the new Vital Fluid Fridays promotion at Burger King.
* “Burger King: Have it your way – now with more iron.”
* How do you want your burger cooked – well-done, rare or clotted?

A farmer in rural Saskatchewan, Canada, discovered a 7-foot long, 3-foot wide, 80-pound heap of twisted, burnt metal out in one of his fields. Noticing the multiple layers of charred composite fibres, he suspected it was space debris. (*’cause many Canadian farmers hold degrees in Astrophysics Engineering.) A group of astronomy professors heard about the case and investigated and agreed that it was space debris from a SpaceX rocket that was launched back in February. Large chunks of metal from space have recently been found in Australia and Washington state, and one smashed through the roof on a house in Florida. So far, Space X hasn’t come to claim the debris from Sawchuk. Farmer Sawchuk said he’s going to try and sell the space remnant, and put the money toward building a hockey rink for his town.
* Seriously? Is a lot of that 80-pounds pure gold?
* He did notice that the corn in that field was growing exceptionally tall, and he can hear it talking.
* And here I can get fined $200 if I don’t pick up my dog’s poop. It doesn’t seem fair.
* Wasn’t this an episode of Outer Range?

Traffic was halted on a road in Knightdale, North Carolina, after a safe on the side of a road caused people to stop and scramble for loose bills blowing around. The Wake County Sheriff’s Office said there was a significant amount of money that was in the safe and also blowing onto the road. It was not clear where the safe came from or how much money was in it. The Wake County Sheriff’s Office has possession of the safe and is trying to track down the owner.
* Just look for the guy sitting at home banging his head on the kitchen table.
* So – this is the opposite of highway robbery.
* Don’tcha hate when you absent-mindedly leave your open safe full of money on top of your car when you drive to the store?
* Suddenly, everybody’s interested in adopting that particular section of the highway.
* Wake County. It’s right next to Woke County, where everybody worries about hurting other peoples’ feelings.

A 53-year-old Vietnamese man came down with a scratchy voice and a sore throat. He thought he was getting sick. Then he started spitting blood. He went to a doctor in Hanoi who discovered the man had a 2-inch-long leech attached to his throat near his trachea. How did it get there? The man told doctors that he had sustained an injury to his hand, so he went out and picked some medicinal plants, put them in his mouth, and chewed them into a paste that he applied to his wound. Doctors believe a tiny leech was in those leaves.
* Are you thinking what I’m thinking? Cool!
* Treating a wound by picking and chewing medicinal leaves. Man, they gotta get some Walmarts in Vietnam.
* How do you remove a tapeworm from somebody’s brain? Tempt it out by putting candy in his ears?
* There’s a good reason for eating nothing but ultra-processed foods, you know. Chips and soda, pretty safe.
* The diversity of life on earth. Always an adventure.

An Oklahoma high school is under investigation after a video of students sucking and licking one another’s toes at a school-sanctioned fundraiser went viral. The footage shows at least four kids from Deer Creek High School lying on their stomachs on the gym floor furiously licking up peanut butter off other students’ bare feet. The video was filmed at something called the Clash of Classes assembly, part of the high school’s fundraiser for a local coffee shop that employs people with special needs. Students volunteered to participate in wacky competitions to raise money — including the toe-sucking tournament. Administrators said they would look into the stunt, but note the event raised $152,000.
* Yeah, mostly from Japanese businessmen.
* Is Oklahoma not deluged with commercials about toe fungus like everybody else?
* I guarantee you the idea for peanut butter toe licking came from a mild-mannered English teacher you’d never suspect.
* That is one weird way to have a plantars wart check in gym class.
* Thanks, Deer Creek High School. I don’t know when I’ll be able to touch a jar of peanut butter again.
* Relax. There are so many ways this could have been so much worse.

An Indian man went to the hospital complaining of repeated vomiting and pain in his abdomen. An X-ray showed a large mass in his stomach. Doctors successfully removed 39 coins and 37 magnets from the intestine of the 26-year-old patient, and diagnosed him with schizophrenia. When asked why he swallowed the metal, he told doctors he thought the zinc in the coins would help “build his body,” and the magnets would insure the coins stay in his body.
* He believed women found him more attractive. With the magnets, in case you missed that.
* Doctors told him “Change what you eat,” and that’s what he did – he started eating change.
* For a while there, he was his own piggy bank.
* We should put the daily recommended amount of zinc into some kind of supplement tablet so people wouldn’t have to eat coins.
* By the way, zinc is not magnetic. If only the man with 37 magnets would have had a way to test that.