In a new Reddit post, a man calling himself @Ben_Bob complained that he had been upgraded to a first class seat on Delta, but then was told a few minutes later that he couldn’t have it. He asked the desk agent what was going on and she said “something changed.” When he boarded the plane he saw that his first class seat was occupied by a big white dog wearing a “Service Animal” vest. And, his newly assigned seat was worse than the one he had originally booked, although it was a bulkhead seat with extra legroom. He wrote, “I am livid.” Delta told him that the law is any human passenger may have to be relocated to accommodate service animals — and Delta said there is “nothing they can do” in these situations. He wrote, “There is no way that dog has spent as much with this airline as I have … What an absolute joke. What’s the point of being loyal to this airline anymore, truly. I’ve sat back when others complained about this airline mistreating customers lately and slipping in service levels, but I’m starting to question my allegiance as well.”
* Honestly, I don’t know who to root for in this story. Except the dog.
* This sounds like Let’s Make a Deal: “Ben, you’ve traded the seat you had for one up front, Let’s open airplane door Number One and see what you get: Ohhhhh, you got zonked!”
* Yes, he needs to switch his allegiance to another airline, ’cause there are so many out there that treat their customers really well. Yup.
* Ben_Bob thinks that since he was UPGRADED to first class, he deserved the same special treatment as actual rich people. That’s so cute.
* There’s a simple answer to this. He needs to get a puppy.

Scuba divers in the Cayman Islands have noticed a disturbing trend in sharks. The sharks are learning that scuba divers will feed them. Some less-reputable scuba diving companies will feed sharks to attract them for their paying customers. In one case, a scuba diver who carried a fishing spear and empty bucket was approached by a shark. When the diver lifted the spear for self-defense, the shark opened its mouth. The diver used the spear to poke the shark inside the mouth and the shark calmly turned away. The diver poked the shark again on the side of the body and the shark left the area. The encounter shows “learned behavior” and indicates sharks have linked divers to free food and spears to utensils.
* And legs to after-dinner mints.
* And they won’t even do tricks for treats, like “sit” and “roll over.”
* Some scuba diving companies feed sharks to attract them for their paying customers? Wouldn’t they want their customers to live longer and go on more scuba dives?
* You simply say, “Sorry, Mr. Shark, this fish on the end of my spear is for me.” It’s the Code of the Sea, and they understand that.
* If only there was, I don’t know, maybe a movie, that pointed out that sharks go where the food is.

A grandma actually got run over by a reindeer at a Thanksgiving Day charity run. A pack of rogue deer knocked two women off their feet during Watertown, New York’s annual Turkey Day Run. The runners spooked four deer who came charging down the street. A video shows one of them plowing into two older women watching the runners pass by. The women were left sprawled out on the ground as the deer fled. One of the women was taken to a nearby hospital by ambulance, where she was treated for minor injuries. The other lady
was treated at the scene.
* Stupid reindeer games.
* Usually Dasher goes after a couple of Vixens.
* The deer also stole a couple of water bottles put out for the runners.
* Kind of a mini-Christmas version of the Running of the Bulls in Pamplona.
* Most wonderful time of the year, my eye.

A British zoo discovered that a 10-year-old penguin who has been living at the facility since 2016 is a male. Birdland Park, in Gloucestershire, said the penguin formerly known as Maggie had a feather sent for DNA testing after keepers noticed the penguin attempting to initiate mating with a male penguin. Maggie was found to be male and renamed Magnus. The zoo is now down to just one female penguin in their breeding colony.
* One tired female penguin.
* You can’t blame them for not catching that it was a male. You know what cold ocean water does to guys.
* They should have known the penguin was male. It was wearing a tuxedo, not an evening gown.
* Also, when the female penguin laid an egg, instead of helping sit on it, he would try to start a game of touch football.
* Who are we as a society to assign gender roles to penguins? Maybe Magnus enjoys being non-binary.

In Blackman, Michigan, a 103-year-old assisted living resident sustained injuries when a deer broke through her bedroom window while she was in bed. The woman was able to call police, who arrived to find the deer thrashing around the apartment. One officer used his baton to smash a sliding glass door and allow the buck to escape. The officers found the resident conscious and alert. She was rushed to the emergency room with non-life-threatening injuries.
* If you’re not humming “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer” right now, there’s something wrong with you.
* It’s a War on Christmas, and Christmas is fighting back.
* Sure, they could put bars on the assisted living building’s doors and windows, but that would look really depressing.
* You think a deer coming into your bedroom would never happen in a hundred years. But a 103 years…

If you’ve ever been to a SeaWorld park, you know that the front rows of the orca show are designated as “splash zones,” because you’re going to get wet. Over the October 19th weekend at SeaWorld in San Antonio, Texas, guests were watching Shamu swim around the tank preparing for his next trick – I’m sorry – his next “behavior” – when suddenly Shamu did in the tank what bears do in the woods. And then, he jumped, and the feces-filled water splashed over the first few rows of SeaWorld guests. Park employees quickly led impacted guests to a designated decontamination location where they received bottled water, soap, and towels. They were also invited to use the park’s bathing facilities. SeaWorld San Antonio issued an apology saying, “We regret this unfortunate event and are taking every step to ensure the safety and comfort of our guests. Our team followed established protocols to minimize health risks and will review our procedures to prevent this from happening again.”
* Shamu? More like Sham-poo.
* “SeaWorld – The Crappiest Place on Earth!”
* In the Inuit culture, this means you’ll have good luck. Good, smelly luck.
* The “splash zones” are now called “splash-n-plop zones.”
* I suppose now they need to hire someone to give the whale an enema before the show.
* (knock knock) “Shamu, showtime! You’re on!” “Can you give me five more minutes? I’m having tummy troubles.” “No! Get out of there and perform for the people!”

A Chinese aquarium is being ripped after its much-hyped giant whale shark was revealed to be a robot. The Xiaomeisha Sea World in Shenzhen re-opened on October 1 following a five-year renovation. The new main attraction of the park was a whale shark, the world’s largest fish, capable of growing over 60 feet in length. There are only a few whale sharks in captivity. A very large tank is required and the shark has specialized feeding needs. So visitors felt a bit cheated when they noticed the whale shark was actually just a robot. There are gaps in its torso where its segments have been connected. The aquarium addressed the criticism, claiming that the robo-shark was not devised to lie to visitors but rather to adhere to international laws banning the trade of whale sharks.
* Catfished!
* Dummies! Advertise it as a cyborg shark and double the attendance!
* People aren’t asking for their money back, ’cause then they would just go missing.
* Like the workers who were supposed to cover those gaps with fake sharkskin.
* If I were to guess I’d say Elon Musk was behind this.

A woman recently posted a story on Reddit’s “Am I the A-hole?” She had just won $50,000 in a lottery. She wrote, “Before I won, my boyfriend and I would always joke about how, if I ever hit it big, I’d ‘split it three ways’ between me, him, and his dog, Baxter. Baxter is a golden retriever, and I love him, but I always thought it was just a joke.” But then she won the money and found out her boyfriend was “dead serious” about Baxter getting a share of the money. He insisted that Baxter deserves $10k in a “dog trust fund’ for future vet bills, toys, and “whatever he needs.” She refused, although she did treat Baxter with a “fancy dog bed and some expensive treats.” But the boyfriend said “that doesn’t count because it wasn’t part of the ‘official’ $10k I supposedly promised.” He mentioned “going to a lawyer to set up the dog trust fund to ‘make it official.'” So, she asked others if they really thought she was in the wrong. The answer, of course, was a resounding no. The woman also said she dumped the boyfriend.
* So she’s a winner, twice.
* This might have turned out different if Baxter was a pit bull.
* Or if Baxter had picked the numbers.
* The sad part of this story is, the dog is stuck with that loser.
* $10,000 to a dog, that’s ridiculous. Now if they had a cat…

In Newfoundland, Canada, the annual Conception Bay South T’Railway Trek half marathon was underway when the runners ran past a pumpkin patch where a goat resided. The goat became excited, broke free from his tether and metal collar and joined in the race. Joshua the goat ran about 3 miles before the owner caught up to him and loaded him into her car. But had become so popular with his fellow runners and spectators that the owner drove him to a spot about 800 feet from the finish line so he could finish the race. Joshua was presented with a participation medal at the finish line.
* Which he ate.
* Her goat running away really got her goat. Then SHE got her goat.
* Three miles for a goat is not b-a-a-a-a-a-d.
* In fact, among goats who run marathons, this goat is the GOAT.

Five horses escaped from the St. Louis Renaissance Festival in Wentzville, Missouri. Three police officers, including an animal control officer, were nearby and rushed to Rotary Park to wrangle them up. A statement from the Wentzville police said the officers quickly teamed up to safely guide the horses back to their stable and assisted in repairing the fence to prevent any more escapes.
* And joust in the nick of time.
* Did they have to say, “Your steeds are returned, m’lady”?
* The cops were rewarded with a facepainting and a turkey leg.
* As a visitor to the Renaissance Fair, you can leave anytime. The horses are not so lucky. All the way back they kept going “Nay! Nay!”
* And they had such long faces.