A British Airways pilot accidentally activated the plane’s emergency slide just seconds before take-off. It happened at Heathrow airport on a flight headed to Romania. Preparing for take-off, the pilot allegedly had failed to disarm the plane door, and hit the button when he was passing documents to members of the crew. The flight was delayed for three hours. The cost to the airline was £50,000. The captain was immediately taken off flying duties.
* Now he’s sliding right into a performance review.
* Don’t tell me: the documents he was handing off were the pre-flight checklist?
* He should have said, “OK, we’re off for Romania. Last chance to bail, folks.”
* In his defense, I’m sure there are a lot of buttons up there in the cockpit. Who can remember them all?
* Oh well, it beats a cabin door blowing out during the flight.

In Oslo, Norway, the driver of a Tesla car crashed into a Norwegian fjord. The driver and the passenger escaped from the car, and were picked up out of the water by a floating sauna boat. The driver reportedly said he forgot to engage the parking brake and accidentally hit the gas, causing the car to jump over a barrier in front of the water before it quickly sank under the surf. Boat captain Nicholay “Nicki” Nordahl told reporters that the motorists were able to warm up in the sauna afterwards.
* The sauna captain was hailed as a hero, he said “It was no sweat.”
* They could have summed it up by saying “Tesla Crashes Into Fjord.”
* Parking brakes … gas pedals … those crazy Teslas with their confusing do-dads!
* Hot, sweaty and seasick – that’s how I like my sauna.

In Manchester, New Hampshire, a 60-year-old woman was compacted inside a garbage truck at least four times after falling into a dumpster outside her apartment complex. The woman somehow fell into the dumpster of her apartment while trying to throw out a bag of trash, she told firefighters, and they believed her. It is unknown how long she remained there before the garbage truck emptied the dumpster, taking her with it. She was rescued from the truck after the driver noticed her on the internal camera and called 911. Firefighters pulled her from the top of the garbage truck. They said she was standing and talking, but was not alert enough to answer questions. The unidentified woman was hospitalized with critical injuries, but she is expected to survive.
* The ambulance drivers just slipped her under the door.
* When it comes to crazy accidents, she crushed it. And it crushed her.
* Trash truck rescue. Crunch time, the fire departments call it.
* Once she’s stable, they will return the woman flat. Er – return her TO her flat.

A semi-truck collided with a home in Franklin, Pennsylvania. Homeowner Jason Eidem says this is nothing new – it’s happened over 50 times since he bought the house eight years ago. The house is very, very close to the corner of the intersection. The corner of the front porch is about 6 feet from the roadway. When large trucks make the tight turn, many of them don’t swing wide enough and the back of the trailer goes off the road, hitting the home. Despite installing large concrete blocks next to the house, despite officials designating the road a no-truck road, it still happens.
* Did Mr. Eidem ever wonder why he was able to buy the house for 50 bucks?
* Sadly, his homeowners insurance is $25,000 a month.
* 49 hits, it’s a tragedy. 50 hits – now he’s just being an attention whore.
* Why doesn’t he team up with one of those online gambling companies, take bets on when the next hit will be, make some real money and move away from there?
* Hey, Jason: Road + land mines = no more truck hits.