NEWS: COW SCRATCHES ASS WITH STICK

Researchers in Austria have detailed the unusual case of the first cow ever to be documented using tools – specifically, sticks and brushes she uses to scratch herself. The team from the University of Veterinary Medicine in Vienna said Veronika, a pet Swiss brown cow belonging to farmer Witgar Wiegele, has been holding sticks in her mouth to scratch her body for years. Mr, Wiegele said Veronika first started picking up pieces of wood about a decade ago, and moved on to using a long push broom. A video shows Veronika holding the broom in her mouth and scratching her butt with the brush end. Scientists call this “a meaningful example of tool use in a species” that is not known for tool use.
* Hey – self-tenderizing meat!
* Maybe she’s prepping for a big date with Emil the bull.
* Now Farmer Wiegele needs to teach her how to use the broom to sweep out the barn.
* Unfortunately, she’s using the broom to scratch because Farmer Wiegele gave her fleas.
* This is bad news. Wait ’til she figures out what we use a band saw for.
* Still, to be honest, I don’t see this turning out like Planet of the Apes.