MINNESOTA STATE FAIR FOODS, 2015 EDITION

The Minnesota State Fair just announced its new foods for 2015. Grab your stomachs:
1. Spam Burger – A Spam patty on a bun.
2. Mac & Cheese Cupcake – A macaroni and cheese cupcake in breadcrumb crust, frosted with Cheez Whiz.
3. Grandma Deb’s Snicker Bar Salad – Snickers, Granny Smith apples, vanilla pudding, whipped cream, and caramel sauce.
4. Sriracha Balls – Chicken- or cream-cheese-based balls stuffed with tomatoes, egg, and corn and then breaded in panko, deep-fried, and rolled in Sriracha sauce.
5. Chilled Bread Pudding – Bread pudding (in four flavors, including gluten-free) in the form of a sundae, served with a dunking sauce and choice of condiments.
6. Italian Dessert Nachos – Cinnamon sugar cannoli chips (!!) covered in sweet ricotta, fruit, chocolate, nuts, and candy.
7. Burger Dog – A ground blend of hamburger, hot dog, bacon, and a splash of jalapeño.
8. Totchos – Tater tot nachos.
9. Cannoli
10. Fried Ribs
11. Maple Bacon Funnel Cake – a funnel cake “infused” with bacon pieces and covered in maple glaze
12. Hot Tail – Roasted pig tail coated in scallion ginger sauce.
13. Sriracha Dog – Beef hot dog on Sriracha cream-cheese-smeared bun, topped with bacon and more Sriracha.
14. Kimchi ‘n’ Curry Poutine – Braised pork and potatoes covered in curry gravy, cheddar cheese, kimchi, and a poached egg.
15. Prime Rib to Go – A prime rib sandwich served in a cone.
16. Stuffed Italian Meatloaf On-a-Stick – It’s like a meatloaf … but on a stick.
17. Wine-Fried Kalettes – Kale dipped in wine, and fried.
* Wow, some of these are human rights violations.
* Wash ’em down with their new bacon-infused lemonade.
* I warned them they shouldn’t hire Paula Deen as a consultant.
* The roasted pig tail coated in scallion ginger sauce sounds disgusting. I would never mix scallions with ginger.
* Did I mention the state fair’s sponsor this year is Lipitor, the cholesterol medicine?
* I think any time one ingredient of a recipe is candy bars, you’ve got a problem.
* I’d be even more critical if I hadn’t had a couple of these for lunch yesterday.
* Sounds like the Texas State Fair has a lot of catching up to do.