Today Is…
Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!
TODAY’S ALMANAC
Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music
TODAY’S TRIVIA
Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.
ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES
MOVIE CHAIN TO HYPNOTIZE VIEWERS
It’s like seeing the film for the first time.
TAYLOR SWIFT BURNED ALL OF HER WEDDING DECOR
Down in flames.
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Monday through Wednesday
DISNEYLAND FLOODS
Buzz Lightyear Astro Splashters.
“CARRIE” INEXPLICABLY COMING BACK FOR SEASON 2
Money, uh, finds a way.
JAMES BOND AUDITIONS THIS WEEKEND
How are you at running across alligators?
WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies
Premiering Thursday through Sunday
JOKE OF THE DAY
Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.
What sound did the witch’s cereal make?
Snap, cackle and pop.
What do you call a vampire who works as a fry cook?
Count Spatula.
Who did Dr. Frankenstein invite to his party?
Anyone he could dig up.
Where do werewolves live?
Warehouses.
What does Jeff Bezos do just before going to the bed?
He puts his pajAMAZON.
U.S. NEWS
DISPUTE OVER PET SQUIRREL
You / Should / Have / Bought / A / Second / Squirrel.
PHILADELPHIA BEEF STOLEN
The surf ‘n’ turf bandits.
AUDIO: SHERIFF CANDIDATE ARRESTED FOR DRUNKENESS, FILMS REBUTTAL
I weren’t drunk.
COMPANY WILL PAY $20/HOUR TO WALK ROBOT DOG
If (($squirrel -eq $Tree -Filter “:” “furry” ++) = “Bark”
THIEVES TAKE THREE THOUSAND POUNDS OF CRAB LEGS
How shellfish of them.
WAR ON HALLOWEEN: SCHOOL CREATES “ORANGE AND BLACK SPIRIT DAY”
Adults are so stupid.
INTERNATIONAL NEWS
8-YEAR-OLD GIRL ATTACKED BY WOLF AT GERMAN ZOO
The wolf had barely finished grandma.
MAN HAD TREE GROWING IN HIS EYE
He didn’t see the cedar seed?
STUDY: 3/4 OF EUROPEAN PILOTS HAVE FALLEN ASLEEP AT CONTROLS
She flies like a dream.
NEW DWARF PLANET FOUND BEYOND PLUTO
Planety McPlanetface
“ENDLESS CRUISE” ENDS BADLY
យូរម្ល៉េះ បឺតជញ្ជក់។
LONDONERS USE E-BIKES FOR JOUSTING
How British.
JAPANESE SHOE INSOLE THIEF CAUGHT
♫♪ He’s a sole man… ♪♪
CANDIDATE WINS DESPITE GAG CAMPAIGN SIGNS
“I barely want to do this.”
FUNNY PICTURES
Right-click on images to
Copy or Save.
Let Me Get That Booger For You
Hic!
Tree Of Horror
Charlie’s Wookiees
Flamingos: Nature’s Scavengers
Teen Pumpkin
THE BUZZ
KIDS SAY THE SCARIEST THINGS
They see dead people.
EXCUSES FOR TARDINESS THAT TURNED OUT TO BE TRUE
You’re late.
DUMB HEADLINES
Another trip to the dumb headline pile.
GEN Z IS SO, SO LONELY
That’s what kids are for, you idiots.
HOUSE BUYING CAUSES SEVERE STRESS, TEARS
Congrtatulations on your new home. Here’s a box of Kleenex.
TOP IMPULSE BUYS
Ladies, this one’s on you.
STUDY: MUSIC MAKES FOOD TASTE BETTER
“Eat It” – “Weird” Al Yankovic.
TRENDING
NEW MOVIES
Click on name for details and audio clips
CHRISTMAS AT THE KRINGLES
Starts Friday, October 30 in theaters.
THE MONGOOSE
Starts Friday, October 30 in theaters.
THE ONLY LIVING PICKPOCKET IN NEW YORK
Starts Friday, October 30 in theaters.
CLAYFACE
Starts Friday, October 23 in theaters.
Click on the title to go to an mp3 player. To download the mp3, right-click on the player and choose the “Save audio as” option.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 30.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
SONG: IT’S ELECTION TIME
The Nightmare Before Tuesday.
A & M AUTOLAND – HALLOWEEN PUMPKINS
Al and Mike’s new promotion isn’t too bright – but the burning car is!
THE PUNCHIN PATCH
Support local farmers.
PROPOSITION 20: SAY NO, VOTE YES
Or is it say Yes, vote No?
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 23.
BROUGHT TO YOU BY
Funny fake sponsorship announcements
FIVE CHAMBERS OF HORROR 2026
Will you survive the horror? Oh, wait – you already have.
A & M AUTOLAND – Stilts
This might be the only time Big Mike actually looked up to Big Al.
SLASHER TELEPORTER
So THAT’S how they do it.
THE FRIDAY CLUSTERFLICKS
For Friday, October 16.
PROMOS-TO-GO
Pre-produced ready-to-use show bumper donuts
A & M AUTOLAND – Contest
Al and Mike won’t play games with you like other car dealers. They’ll play MORE.
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