MAN STEALS AK-47 BY STUFFING IT DOWN HIS PANTS

In Davie, Florida, 19-year-old Marlon Paul Alvarez is facing grand theft charges after he was seen stuffing rifles down his pants at a pawn shop. In court, Judge John Hurley read from the arrest report: “You allegedly went into that pawn shop and removed an AK-47 rifle on display and stuck it down your pants. After a while, [you] pulled it out, put it back, then grabbed another assault rifle off another display [and] put that down your pants.” Owner Kevin Hughes confronted Alvarez outside the pawn shop and recovered the brand new $830 weapon before Alvarez ran off. Alvarez was seen on security video and the business owner was able to identify him when the suspect was arrested a short time later. Alvarez confessed to stealing the rifle.
* You know what he told police, right? “Yes, this IS a gun in my pants, and no, I’m NOT glad to see you.”
* He also had a rocket in his pocket.
* His plan almost worked, as in, it completely failed.
* These TV shows are so nutty. Thank goodness they lock that display case so this could never happen in the real world.
* Wait, you’re saying this was the real world?
* Don’t ask where he hid the ammunition.
* He was seen on tape taking the gun, the owner retrieved the gun from him, then the thief confessed, or as his lawyer would call it: circumstantial evidence.
* There’s something here we see a lot of in these wacky news stories. It’s the line: “The suspect was arrested a short time later.”