MAN RUNS ERRAND, WINS $22 MILLION LOTTERY

Milwaukee, Wisconsin, man John Rumpel was doing an errand for his wife – buying milk at the convenience store. While checking out, he bought a lottery ticket. Not only did that ticket turn out to be a winner, but Rumpel became the largest Megabucks jackpot winner in the game’s history – to the tune of $22.2 million. “It wasn’t until after the drawing that I flipped on the news and saw that the winning ticket was sold in Milwaukee and I looked up and saw the convenience store on there and I went, ‘Oh man, that might be me.'” And it was. Rumpel took the cash option so he’ll take home $15.7 million.
* Now he can also afford eggs.
* I gotta start running more errands.
* He went to buy milk, now he’s a cash cow.
* Ordinarily, buying a heavily marked-up item like milk at a convenience store is not a good idea, but I guess in this case, paying an extra 43 cents doesn’t really matter.
* Of course, the wife will take full credit for it.
* See, this makes up for today’s other lottery story where the winnings helped bail out a heroin dealer.
* Excuse me … he just had 8,000 packets of heroin on him so make that an alleged heroin dealer.
* Think about the people who know they bought tickets at the exact convenience store too. How cruel to miss it by that much.
* Then they rub it in by calling it “Megabucks,” like you’re a Megaloser.
* This is the biggest question of our times: Would you take the cash option and screw it up quickly, or the yearly payments?
* Second biggest question: Would you tell your spouse?