MAN NAMED FELLONY CHARGED WITH MULTIPLE YOU-KNOW-WHATS

Police in Salem, Oregon, last Tuesday received a report of a woman being assaulted inside a moving vehicle. The vehicle had been reported stolen. After a chase that spanned several cities, the car was eventually hit with a set of spike strips and the chase was over, the woman was rescued. The driver’s name? A 22-year-old man named Fellony Hudson. Fellony was charged with felony kidnapping, felony eluding and felony possession of a stolen vehicle.
* Thanks a lot, mom.
* Named after his father, I bet.
* Maybe his name was originally Thelonius, but he has a speech impediment.
* She couldn’t have named him Goodman? Goodman Hudson?