MAN ARRESTED FOR EGGING NEIGHBOR'S HOUSE MORE THAN 100 TIMES

An Ohio man is accused of egging an elderly neighbor’s house more than 100 times. Authorities in Euclid, Ohio, arrested Jason Kozan, 30, on Tuesday. An extensive investigation included undercover stakeouts and analysis of eggshells at a crime lab led to police – wait for it – cracking the case. The eggings reportedly took place between May 2014 and June 2015. Police said Kozan had previously lived on the same street as the 85-year-old victim, Albert Clemens. Clemens said the attacks – which also included the occasional lemon, lime, grapefruit and a round of paintballs – damaged his house and made his family uneasy. Police did not specify a motive for the vandalism.
* It sounds like Justin Bieber on steroids.
* Right now the legal situation is pretty scrambled and it won’t be over easy.
* The old man’s just a shell of his former self.
* They analyzed eggshells at a crime lab? What is this, “CSI: Poultry”?
* At least they caught the guy, so his chickens have come home to roost.
* I like how he threw other things every now and then just to keep it spontaneous.
* What a waste of food. If only he had thrown, like, canned goods.
* “Damn these vandals! Oh, look – creamed corn! Yummy!”
* All this made the family uneasy? Yeah, not to mention extremely pissed off.
* Now the defendant is claiming his neighbor egged him on.
* Could have been worse. Could have been 100 flaming paper bags full of poo.