HOMELESS MAN BITTEN BY ALLIGATOR

Melbourne, Florida, police said a 56-year-old homeless man was swimming in the water near a bridge at U.S. 1 and Crane Creek when he was bitten in the shoulder by an alligator. Police officers found him on the river bank with a number of deep punctures along his shoulder. He was conscious, but in pain, when medics arrived to take him to a hospital. One paddleboarder saw the man lying on the bank bleeding, and a gator about 100 yards away.
* I’m no Columbo, but I bet that was the gator.
* Why do people in Florida even go IN the water?
* It’s called Crane Creek but the gators ate all the cranes years ago.
* The homeless man told the alligator, “I haven’t had a bite in three days.” And you know the rest.
* Well, Florida seems to have figured out how to solve its homeless problem. What about the rest of us?
* Florida: America’s Australia.
* How scary is it when the place in Florida has an Australian name like Melbourne?
* That’s a double whammy.
* That’s as unsettling as a town called Tallahassee, Australia.
* Maybe there’s a wackiness portal that connects both places through the earth.