HERSHEY'S CUTTING CANDY CALORIES

The Hershey’s chocolate company says that by 2022, half of its individually wrapped standard- and king-size candy bars will be 200 calories or fewer. To lower that count, Hershey’s will reformulate the treats, introduce new ones and adjust the sizes of certain products (Downsizing! Bastards!). Also, by 2020, king-size bars will be designed to be more easily shared or split and saved for later (* Yeah, screw that.); for example, instead of coming in one large piece, candy might be broken into two or three pieces in the package. Spokesman Jeff Beckman the standard Hershey bar is 210 calories, “so the path to 200 is very close.”
* Ten fewer calories. This could turn everything around.
* It’s the same reason why Americans are screaming for more healthy meals at McDonald’s.
* “Adjust the sizes of certain products.” Like when ice cream shrunk from a half-gallon (2 quarts) to 1.5 quarts, but the price stayed the same.
* Meanwhile, “fun-size” bars will be renamed “Not as much fun-size”.
* At first I thought, “By 2022?” That seems impossibly far into the future. Meanwhile it’s in 5 years.
* In a related story Big Tobacco promises to kill their customers much more slowly in the future.