HALLOWEEN

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1. Theme from “Friday the 13th” 1:05

2. Theme from “Saw” 1:43

3. Scary Music :37

4. Halloween, the one holiday when there’s no hugging, no singing, no cards, we dress as monsters and we threaten people with tricks and they give us candy and it’s beautiful. (Bob’s Burgers) :10

5. OK, Happy Halloween, sorry we don’t have good candy. My husband’s not allowed to buy the candy anymore. (Bob’s Burgers) :06

6. Halloween’s Coming song (Bob’s Burgers) :07

7. How’s it hanging? I’m David Pumpkins, and I’m gonna scare the hell out of you. (SNL) :08

8. Full David S. Pumpkins routine. (SNL) :42

9. I have both the heebies and the jeebies (Bob’s Burgers) :04

10. Halloween’s about forgiveness, I think. Forgiveness & Frankenstein, the two F’s. (Bob’s Burgers) :05

11. Welcome! Nice to creep you! Allow me to introboo myself! I am the ghostess with the mostest! Hi, Mom. (Bob’s Burgers) :10

12. Linus’ Great Pumpkin speech – “There he is!” (It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown) :22

13. Welcome to Jack-o-Land! Your Halloween just got a little Halloweener. (Bob’s Burgers) :05

14. It’s humiliating. Guys, we can’t give up on Halloween. It’s a magical night where women dress slutty and drink too much. Where we can hide our bodies in bulky costumes. We’ve got to keep trying. (30 Rock) :14

15. Happy Halloween, jerk! (The Office) :04

16. Ahhh! A Ghost! Oh, it’s you. :02

17. Holy mackerel, mister. You scared the jeepers outta me. :05

18. Trick or treat, smell my meat, give me something good to eat. (Aqua Teen) :06

19. It’s Halloween, a night for mischief and merriment. (Simpsons) :04

20. Trick or treat! Beat it, weirdos, I don’t do Halloween. (Simpsons) :12

21. You’ve all come to wait for the Grand Pumpkin with me! Who wants to sing pumpkin carols? (Simpsons) :08

22. Hey, kid, nice costume. Do you think so? (Family Guy) :10

23. Oh my god, Brian, you were right, Halloween is the best. Look how much candy I have. (Family Guy) :05

24. Hey, get back here! Hey, that’s my candy! Damn you, that’s my candy! (Family Guy) :05

25. It’s Halloween. You know, things can get a little weird out there. (Bob’s Burgers) :03

26. OK – one piece of candy per kid. Watch out for grabbers and repeaters and – I shouldn’t have to say this – if you run out of candy, you can’t go giving out cigarettes and pills (The Middle) :09

27. I know that Halloween can be kinda scary. But you know what’s even scarier? Just being a teen in this crazy, world, huh? (The Middle) :10

28. Hot dog! This is gonna be the scariest Halloween ever! (Moral Orel) :06

29. This is too spooky for me. I don’t even like watching the Count on Sesame Street. (Simpsons) :06

30. Hello, boils and ghouls. I am the Cryptkeeper, or should I say, Master of Scare-emonies. (Simpsons) :12

31. There’s no such thing as ghosts you dumb kids. (Simpsons) :04

32. Did you eat all the candy? No. Did you? Yes. (Parks & Recreation) :03

33. Not as scary as I thought it would be. Aghhhh!!!!! (Tim & Eric) :19

34. I’ll be right back – I’m gonna go put on my Donald Duck Costume (Family Guy) :06

35. Halloween’s gotta be the worst night for a cop. All you do is drive around, confiscate beer from teenagers and occasionally handcuff a drunk woman in a sexy costume. (Family Guy) :10