GAS STATION ROBBER HAD A DRAWN-ON BEARD

Police in Holiday, Florida, are searching for a suspect who robbed a local gas station while disguised with a drawn-on beard. The suspect was described as a heavyset white individual between 30- and 40-years-old with long dark hair wearing a red bandanna, clear gloves, glasses, a green army-style jumpsuit and the drawn-on beard as a disguise. Police are unsure if the suspect was a he or a she. It was also unclear if the suspect was successful in taking any cash from the gas station.
* That’s some mighty fine police work there, Lou.
* I thought saying the gas station was robbed implied that money was taken.
* Then later it turns into just an attempt to rob the gas station. So did the place get robbed or not?
* No wonder the mainstream media did such a terrible job during the campaign. They can’t even get to the bottom of a story like this.
* At this point, maybe it was all a dream.
* It’s pretty discriminating to be pinning gender labels on our criminals, no?
* How about this: The Gender-Fluid Bandit.
* A drawn-on beard? What’s happened to our standards in this country?
* I remember when criminals took more pride in their work.
* Sure, the robber could have just tied the red bandanna over their lower face, but it’s Florida, so they had to be bizarre.
* Maybe it was an out-of-work face-painter.