FLORIDA MAN FINDS 9-FOOT GATOR IN HIS POOL

A Lakeland, Florida, man walked into his backyard Tuesday afternoon to see if a stray golf ball had found its way into his swimming pool. Craig Lear, 38, assumed the bubbles he saw in his pool were from a ball that had been hit into it from the course next door. Instead, he found a 9-foot alligator lying at the bottom of the pool. At first, he couldn’t make out exactly what the large mass at the bottom was, since the water was grainy due to the pool’s pebble-stone floor. When he got closer, however, he found a nearly 300-pound alligator submerged in the deep end. After making sure their son and three cats were accounted for, Craig called the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, who sent over an alligator trapper. It took about an hour to drag the gator out of the pool. The animal was euthanized and processed for its meat and hide.
* Then it was just a matter of getting the python out of the pool’s cabana.
* The son and three cats were accounted for … how about the golfers?
* “Marco!” “Pol-oh! OH! OHHH!!!”
* It turns out Florida is an ancient Indian word meaning “Australia.”
* Look, we have plenty of nutty people in Florida who provide the wacky news stuff. We don’t need any help from the animal kingdom.
* So the alligator was walking along and saw a body of water and decided to jump in? Where do these animals get the nerve?
* Alligators have only been acting like this since the time of the dinosaurs.