DUI MAN CLAIMS "BEER-BATTERED FISH"

A serial drunk driver was in a Wisconsin court on Monday, explaining his 10th arrest for DUI. John Przybyla’s excuse this time: beer-battered fish was responsible for his blood alcohol level. Przybyla, 75, was found guilty.
* Is Przybyla really his name, or is that what it sounds like when this drunk guy tries to say it?
* It’s probably actually “Peterson.”
* Tenth time? I’m sure the judge sentenced him to a strongly worded letter.
* This is the type of guy Helen Mirren was talking about in her Super Bowl ad.
* 75-year-old drivers scare me to begin with. Now imagine one of them drunk.
* This court appearance happened on Monday? Sounds like a Super Bowl party gone bad.
* Maybe he’s a Packers fan and he couldn’t face the Super Bowl.
* Uh oh. Now the fish have hired their own lawyer.
* You could really tell he’s a drunk. As he raised his right hand in court he said, “I want to give a toast to the judge.”