DRUNK MAN ARRESTED FOR HAVING SEX WITH A VAN

A Dayton, Ohio, man was arrested after being accused of trying to have sex with a parked van. Officers were called around 8 p.m. Tuesday for a report that a man was pulling his pants down and swinging on a stop sign. Police arrived to find a man walking, wearing black gym shorts and shoes. The man, identified as Michael Henson, appeared to be intoxicated. Officers put him in the back of a police car and spoke with the woman who called police. She told them she saw the man standing near a parked van. She went on to explain she saw Henson pull his shorts down and place his genitals in the front grill of the van. The woman said he did this for a while then appeared to pass out in a nearby yard. That’s when she called police. Henson was arrested for public indecency.
* Was it a Dodge Ram?
* “If this van’s a-rockin’, it’s ’cause I’m trying to hump it.”
* The grill? Isn’t your junk supposed to go in the trunk?
* “Appeared to be intoxicated”? Yeah, I think that’s a good call.
* Typical man. He didn’t even cuddle with the van afterwards.
* Plus, he didn’t even call the van the next day.
* Add that to the list … you know the list, right? Signs You Might Have A Drinking Problem.
* It’d be like … 1. You drink more than you intended. 2. You often drink alone. 3. You tried to have sex with a van.
* Now here’s Queen with “I’m In Love With My Car.”