CRAYOLA DUMPS YELLOW CRAYON

In a non-event that the Crayola company has, unbelievably, been stretching out for over a week, they’ve announced that they are getting rid of one of the crayons in the 24-color box. Last week, Crayola announced it would be eliminating a crayon on March 31. The one heading to the big melting pot in the sky? Dandelion. Yellow. Or Gold. Whatever. The company said it will announce its new replacement color today (Friday, March 31) at a Crayola event in Times Square, and it will be livestreamed on Facebook..
* It better not be Buttercup Yellow. Or Gold. Whatever.
* Well, color me unimpressed.
* If you find yourself watching this event, it would be a good time to take stock of your life and ask yourself: “Why am I watching this event?”
* At least it’s news that’s probably real.
* Somebody’s been studying the Lego operation.
* This is big news. No wonder my phone’s been blowing up all day.
* Everyone just says, “Did you hear? Did you hear the news about Crayola?”