COUPLE ARRESTED FOR TWEEZER ATTACK

A Wildwood, Florida, couple was arrested after allegedly attacking each other with tweezers Saturday morning. Officials say Ian Michael Harvey, 35, and Janet Driggers, 33, became involved in an altercation after Harvey expressed his desire to end their relationship. Both Harvey and Driggers suffered lacerations due to the aggressive use of tweezers. Both were arrested on felony charges of battery. Both Harvey and Driggers have previous battery convictions.
* “All right, you two – stop picking on each other!”
* “Hey, Janet – Ouch! – While you’re attacking me – Ouch! – Would you get this ingrown hair on my leg? – Ouch!”
* It must have been premeditated. Who has more than one pair of tweezers in the house?
* Police say both showed a lot of pluck.
* This is special. Over 7 billion people and it’s the first tweezer fight we’ve ever had in the wacky news.
* Maybe this is the next big thing after all those samurai sword stories.
* It started when the woman gave him some tweezers and said they were to pick up his penis.
* Hey, if you don’t want penis jokes don’t have stories from Wildwood.
* Actually, if you’re going to get lacerations in a fight, tweezer wounds aren’t a bad way to go.
* At least they didn’t take it up another notch to fingernail clippers.
* Splitting assets is never easy so at least they already have his and hers tweezers.