CHILDREN BANNED FROM PLAYGROUND FOR BEING TOO LOUD

A city in the Netherlands has banned children from a school playground after neighbors complained they were too noisy. Officials in Nijmegen measured the children’s volume at 88 decibels, well over the legal noise limit of 70 decibels in the residential area. The school has until the end of the month to comply with the ban or face a fine of 10,000 euros. At least one government official is standing behind the ban. City councilor Noël Vergunst of the left-wing Green Party told other council members, “It’s a difficult issue. The noise standard was considerably exceeded, so we had to do something.”
* And so, they did the wrong thing.
* It’s not as bad as their first idea: Put ball-gags on all the children.
* Two words: Boarding School.
* Is this a neighborhood of nothing but wicked stepmothers?
* What are those kids doing on the playground, anyway? Do they not have Xbox in the Netherlands?
* Maybe they can hire a few playground bullies to enforce the noise levels.
* This story has been brought to you by Bose Noise-Canceling Headphones.