BALLOON FULL OF TOURISTS CRASHES INTO LAKE NEXT TO DISNEY WORLD

A group of tourists aboard a hot air balloon crashed into a lake next to Disney World Sunday. The balloon was not operated by Disney, it was owned by Orlando Balloon Rides. 17 people were in the basket when an unexpected wind swept the balloon away from the designated landing strip and into the small body of water. Everybody took the water landing pretty well and no one was hurt as they had to swim or wade about 20 feet to shore.
* Oh, the tragedy … of all those wet cell phones.
* Of course everybody took the water landing pretty well. Have you seen all those YouTube videos of balloons bursting into flames?
* They almost had a FastPass to death.
* Fortunately, only three of the tourists were lost to Disney World alligators.
* This is why you should go to Disney World – they fake adventures so you don’t get hurt.
* You never know when you’re going to suffer from an unexpected wind, especially at – all together now – Taco Bell.

Today Is…

THURSDAY – Mar 5

WEDNESDAY – Mar 4

TUESDAY – Mar 3

Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!

TODAY’S ALMANAC

THURSDAY ALMANAC – Mar 5

WEDNESDAY ALMANAC – Mar 4

TUESDAY ALMANAC – Mar 3

Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music

TODAY’S TRIVIA

THURSDAY TRIVIA – Mar 5

WEDNESDAY TRIVIA – Mar 4

TUESDAY TRIVIA – Mar 3

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

PINOCCHIO: THE HORROR MOVIE

No lie.

JOHN TRAVOLTA GETS ANOTHER PILOT’S LICENSE

With Travolta on the stick, you’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.

ACTOR AWARD WINNERS

Some you know, some you don’t.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

TIMES SQUARE NAKED COWBOY, COWGIRL GETTING DIVORCED

Give me some space, cowboy.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

BROADWAY CANCELED SECOND NIGHT OF PERFORMANCES DUE TO BLIZZARD

“How do I get to Broadway?” “Practice, and a dogsled.”

TOM HANKS FINALLY OLD ENOUGH TO PLAY ABE LINCOLN

Coming to a theater near you in four score months.

JOKE OF THE DAY

Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after 6 months…

posted March 4

The woman asked the doctor about her baby. Doctor says, “You had twins, a boy and a girl. And your brother named them for you.” Woman says, “No, not my idiot brother! What did he name the girl?” Doctor says, “Denise.” Woman says, “Well, that’s a nice name. What did he name the boy?” Doctor says, “Denephew.”

What’s grey?

posted March 3

A melted penguin.

A cabbie picks up a nun.

posted March 2

After a few minutes, the cabbie says, “Sister, I have a question, but I don´t want to offend you.” The nun says, “I´ve heard just about everything. I promise you, nothing you say will offend me.” Cabbie says, “Alright… I´ve always had a fantasy to be kissed by a nun.” She says “Well… are you single?” He says, “Yes.” She says, “Are you Catholic?” He says, “Absolutely!” Nun says, “Pull into that alley.” He does, and she give him a kiss so passionate it could melt stained glass. As they drive away, the cabbie starts crying. The nun says, “My dear child, why are you crying?” He says “Forgive me, Sister… I´ve sinned. I lied. I´m married … and I´m Jewish.” The nun says “That´s okay. My name´s Dave and I´m on my way to a Halloween party.”