AUDIO: TACO BELL MYSTERY FOOD

Taco Bell announced that you can buy its secret and “highly anticipated” new product before it goes on sale nationwide. The fast food chain won’t be revealing the item until its 30-second spot during Super Bowl 50. Diners can place orders at the Taco Bell website ($2.99 per, maximum order of five) and pick them up Saturday, two days before the rest of America can order them. Conjecture has run rampant about the ‘blind’ pre-order. One possibility is the Quesalupa—like a chalupa (a taco with a fried flatbread shell) but cheesier. Taco Bell tested the item in Ohio last year.
* Wow, I wasn’t that excited about the Super Bowl but this changes everything.
* If it’s so highly anticipated how come this is the first we’ve heard of it?
* “Conjecture has run rampant”? Okay, now we’re deep in the hype zone.
* Maybe it’s a taco stuffed inside a burrito injected with cheese.
* Maybe it’s like every other fabulous new fast food item – they’ve added two strips of bacon.
* Please don’t try to order more than 5. It just wouldn’t be fair to hoard these from the rest of America.
* Never mind about this. When the hell is the McRib Sandwich coming back?
* Pre-order this.
CLIP: Don’t be fooled! Taco Bell does this all the time. Here’s our classic “Alphabetaco” bit.