AUDIO: ANOTHER WOOD CHIPPER DEATH

A man who was cutting down trees in an Albany, New York suburb has died after he became entangled in a wood chipper machine. Police say the 23-year-old local man had been removing large trees Wednesday afternoon in front of a home when he fell into the chipper. Rescue personnel pronounced him dead at the scene. His name hasn’t been released. The company said it was the man’s first day on the job.
* And his last day on the job.
* When I hear something like this, it makes me sycamore.
* There was no way to save his ash.
* Life’s a birch.
* His next of kin will pine for him.
* “Call rescue personnel … but tell them they don’t need to hurry.”
* Look, it’s a shame, but let’s not go all to pieces.
* “Became entangled in a wood chipper machine.” Such a gentle choice of verbs. Unlike, say, “became shredded in a wood chipper machine.”
* If this was a Stephen King novel, he would have been pushed into the wood chipper by one of the other trees.
* Sometimes an autopsy isn’t necessary.
* Sometimes there isn’t enough left for an autopsy.
* Good luck hiring someone to replace him.
* If you do bring in someone else, you might want to give your training program a little boost.
* Hurry up and review the safety procedures, chop-chop!
* PHONE TOPIC:  My Horrible First Day On The Job.
CLIP: The wood chipper line from “Fargo”.