AUDIO: AMUSEMENT PARK HAS SIZE RESTRICTIONS
A new amusement park just opened in Foley, Alabama, near the gulf coast. The new OWA park… (* Owa is a a Creek Indian word meaning “big water”.) …not only has rides that will leave visitors breathless, but – because this is America – has surprise height and weight restrictions for adults. Some visitors waiting in line to ride the roller coaster have been disappointed to find out they didn’t make the cut. (* I think OWA is an Indian word for ‘walk of shame’.) On its website, OWA says guests of certain body proportions may not be able to be accommodated on some of the park’s rides. It says, in part… “This may apply, but is not limited to, guests who exceed 6’2” or those who exceed 225 pounds, have a 40” waist line or 52” chest, or females who exceed 200 pounds or wear a size 18 or larger.” OWA says the restrictions are for safety reasons, because certain lap bars and shoulder restraints may not function properly on larger adults.
* That’s why there’s a “Guess Your Weight” booth in front of every ride.
* Are they sure OWA doesn’t stand for “Overweight Americans”?
* They need a sign: “You must be no larger than THIS to become stuck on one of our rides when it breaks down.”
* You know you might have a weight problem when you get on the Tea Cups ride, but when you get off it’s become the Tilt-a-Whirl.
* The Merry-Go-Round is okay for all sizes, although with some of the bigger riders and the momentum it can take a half-hour to come to a complete stop.
CLIP: Overweight? Try the NSS Weight-Loss System!
