UTAH TO BUILD FART FACTORY

State and local officials in Utah broke ground last Thursday morning for Utah’s first food digester complex. The project is aimed at reducing landfill waste and harnessing unused renewable energy. Once at full capacity, the Wasatch Resource Recovery digesters will produce enough natural gas to continuously supply a city of 40,000 people. The facility, to be opened in late 2018, will deploy anaerobic digesters to grind and liquefy food waste, then use water, heat and bacteria to convert it into methane gas to be used as natural gas and bio-solids to be converted into fertilizer.
* That’s right, folks: an official fart factory.
* They got the idea from my college roommate.
* How big are these digesters compared to, say, Kevin James?
* “Wasatch Resource Recovery” because “Giant Artificial Stomachs” sounds gross.
* Matches will be banned in four surrounding counties.
* All the fire extinguishers in the building will be filled with Beano.

Today Is…

FRIDAY – Mar 6

THURSDAY – Mar 5

WEDNESDAY – Mar 4

Anything special being celebrated or commemorated today? Find out here!

TODAY’S ALMANAC

FRIDAY ALMANAC – Mar 6

THURSDAY ALMANAC – Mar 5

WEDNESDAY ALMANAC – Mar 4

Birthdays, Upcoming Holidays, This Day in History and Music

TODAY’S TRIVIA

FRIDAY TRIVIA – Mar 6

THURSDAY TRIVIA – Mar 5

WEDNESDAY TRIVIA – Mar 4

Every installment of X-Treme Trivia Challenge includes three obscure facts.

ENTERTAINMENT & CELEBRITIES

BRITNEY SPEARS ARRESTED FOR DUI

Oops, she did it again.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

PINOCCHIO: THE HORROR MOVIE

No lie.

JOHN TRAVOLTA GETS ANOTHER PILOT’S LICENSE

With Travolta on the stick, you’re stayin’ alive, stayin’ alive.

ACTOR AWARD WINNERS

Some you know, some you don’t.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Monday through Wednesday

TIMES SQUARE NAKED COWBOY, COWGIRL GETTING DIVORCED

Give me some space, cowboy.

WHAT TO WATCH – New and Returning Shows and Movies

Premiering Thursday through Sunday

BROADWAY CANCELED SECOND NIGHT OF PERFORMANCES DUE TO BLIZZARD

“How do I get to Broadway?” “Practice, and a dogsled.”

JOKE OF THE DAY

Suggestion: Post the joke on your website. Boost clicks by having listeners call in and tell the Joke of the Day to win a prize.

How do you unlock a banana?

posted March 6

With a monkey.

What does a ghost like to drink?

posted March 5

Boos.

A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after 6 months…

posted March 4

The woman asked the doctor about her baby. Doctor says, “You had twins, a boy and a girl. And your brother named them for you.” Woman says, “No, not my idiot brother! What did he name the girl?” Doctor says, “Denise.” Woman says, “Well, that’s a nice name. What did he name the boy?” Doctor says, “Denephew.”

What’s grey?

posted March 3

A melted penguin.

A cabbie picks up a nun.

posted March 2

After a few minutes, the cabbie says, “Sister, I have a question, but I don´t want to offend you.” The nun says, “I´ve heard just about everything. I promise you, nothing you say will offend me.” Cabbie says, “Alright… I´ve always had a fantasy to be kissed by a nun.” She says “Well… are you single?” He says, “Yes.” She says, “Are you Catholic?” He says, “Absolutely!” Nun says, “Pull into that alley.” He does, and she give him a kiss so passionate it could melt stained glass. As they drive away, the cabbie starts crying. The nun says, “My dear child, why are you crying?” He says “Forgive me, Sister… I´ve sinned. I lied. I´m married … and I´m Jewish.” The nun says “That´s okay. My name´s Dave and I´m on my way to a Halloween party.”